Sep 27, 2010

How to forgive & forget when someone has hurt you (Easier said than done)

I found this HERE. Very true. Very insightful.

Dealing with hurt and anger is important and the one who is not able to do so ends up becoming a bitter person. It is more than difficult to forget things and move on, as if nothing has happened, no matter how important it is to do the same. However, holding feelings of resentment can affect your peace of mind and ruin your happiness. Therefore, you can’t afford to let the anger remain within you. Pardoning others and putting a hurtful incident off your mind needs to be worked upon, since it doesn’t come easy. In case you need some help in this regard, we are at your service. Follow the article to find some tips on how to forgive and forget when someone has hurt you.

Forgiving Someone Who Has Hurt You

Forget What Happened

Hostility and bitterness survives in people who find it difficult to forget the past. Moving on in life is the key to forgetting the hurt caused to you, by other people. Stacking up hard feelings for someone who has hurt you will not allow you to bury the hatchet and you will constantly find yourself dwelling on something that cannot be changed now. Live in the present, look forward to the future and bury the bad memories of the past.

Allow Others To Apologize

Sometimes, we are so infuriated and hurt over an incident that we do not allow the other person to buy time and come up with an apology when things cool down. Once you get a heart-felt apology from the person who has hurt you, it becomes easier to forgive him/her. Remind yourself that even you would have hurt others at one point of time, intentionally or unintentionally. Would you want others to hold that against you forever? Allowing others to apologize will save you from becoming bitter to them.

Communicate The Hurt

Rather than holding a grudge and allowing it to thrive, you should communicate your feelings to the one who has hurt you, especially if the person is close to you. Many people tend to keep things to themselves, and it makes them averse to communication. It is important to realize that conversation will allow the other person to offer an explanation for his/her hurtful behavior and help you overcome the same. Therefore, make sure that you do not shut down the lines of communication completely.

Realize That Everyone Is Human

Realize that it is only human to make mistakes and most of us don’t hurt others intentionally, for sadistic reasons. If you can accept this premise, forgiving and forgetting will become a lot more easier. While some people believe that revenge is the sweetest joy, it is important to remember that “the joy of revenge is only for a day, but the glory of forgiving remains forever”. The choice is yours!

Let Time Heal

There are times when the hurt is simply impossible to forget, even after you have forgiven the other person. While moving on is easier said than done, for all the comprehensible reasons, never forget that time is the biggest healer. Bitterness and bad memories pertaining to an incident will fade away with the passage of time. If forgetting a hurtful incident is impossible for you, leave the healing on time. Eventually, you will be able to put it out of your mind.


Raj said...

i dont try to forgive i only quit thinking about it. the rest just happens.

Vinita Santhosh said...

Forgive n forget - thats wht i try to do always, once u r able to forgive, the forgetting part happens on its own...

Maryx said...

Raj - Ostrich method huh? Works sometimes I agree.

Vinita - Not always... in my experience. But how do you really and truly forgive? How do you learn to NEVER hold it against them ever again?

Vinita Santhosh said...

Well, you just learn it... God give you the strength to do that, n you have to pray a lot to be able to truly forgive..