23 June 2010 - Annoyed

My whole laptop had to be formatted! What the hell?! Okay I'm a little bit annoyed. My (year old) Windows 7 decided to bomb out on my and proclaim that it's not genuine. Freaking out a bit, I phoned a friend, and he helped to re-do my laptop. He backed up my information (life) for me on his external drive and re-installed Windows 7 for me. After replacing my information (life) back onto the laptop.. I noticed, of course, that I had to re-do everything.

All my personalized things, my Firefox, my Internet, my installations... I even lost a 3 whole folders of pictures, that I'm really, really upset about. I almost started crying. No kidding. But I'm pretty sure it's my fault I lost it, so I won't be hammering on my friend or anything.
Wow he really helped me a lot, and he's done so much for me. I don't really know how to say thank you, enough. Thing is... I'm pretty sure he likes me. He is super nice to me, he does things for me, he wants to hold me when we watch movies and he sometimes gets a little personal and flirty with me. I know I'm blind to things like that, but he kinda makes it obvious. I don't know what to do about it, though. He's a nice guy and all, but I feel pretty awkward around him. Most of the time. I don't think that's a good thing. I don't quite know how to be myself around him. I don't know how to be comfortable and let my guard down. It's like he's just waiting to pounce on me and I don't want to let my guard down. Weird, I know. I just can't shake it off.

Am I looking past one of the nice guys? I don't know. But hey... I don't see myself as ready for a relationship right now. Not after what I've been through. But that's a story for another day. If you don't already know. Oh, and by the way, he's got a daughter. She's in primary school already. She's very annoying. But she's sweet. She's just a kid, I know. Poor guy got a girl pregnant the day he lost his virginity. Ouch.

There are just... so many things that I worry about and care too much about. So many things I can't get over and so many things I have to deal with. I'll get there. Hopefully sooner, rather than later.