Mar 10, 2010

Am I doing the right thing?

I let go. I gave up. I feel empty and lost, yet strangely at peace. The drama of the past month or two is shifting. The dark clouds hanging over me are shifting. That's a good thing, right? I feel calmer. Yet my heart is aching. I feel like the skies are clearing up for me. Yet I still want to curl up in the fetal position, somewhere dark, and cry it all out. But life just doesn't work that way. You have to hold your head high and keep on fighting. So here I am. fighting to find myself. Once again. Fighting for a better life. Once again. To think I actually thought I was so close. It was in my reach. I won't be so stupid again. I hope... Famous last words, huh?



10 comments:

desi said...

i'm in the same boat...the same...

:( it's a battle between heart and head. you know you must and what you want to do

Daffy said...

Some people are in our lives only for a short season....

Maryx said...

Desi - Really?! WOW. And you have no idea why we put ourselves... no sorry... why THEY put us through this sh!t? Urgh!

Daffy - So true. And a certain reason.

Ella Unread said...

Hang in there girlie girl :) I know u have the strength to get up and run :)

Maryx said...

You're right indeed Ella... =)

Andhari said...

When you said you feel calmer, please note that it's a sign that you made the right choice. You might love someone but you need to love yourself more.

Raj said...

just walk

Maryx said...

Andhari - You're right, of course. Just feels shitty...

Raj - ?

desi said...

Its difficult. Its sad.

But when im alone, i'm happier.
and thats how i know i should go.

Raj said...

there are two ways to react to what may happen. or is happening. to react or to not react. you will notice eventually that the latter actually works. so, just walk. don't try to run or think you are crawling.