I don't think I've completely come to terms with that fact. I'm right back to square one. How stupid. I'm quite speechless to be honest. I don't know what to say anymore. I've been reduced to just feeling. And I don't even want to do that, for obvious reasons.
I knew you weren't ready for this, for us, but I guess I just wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt. I guess I just wanted you to be ready. But the reality is, you're not. I don't understand most of the things you do, or how you could do it, and I should just stop trying to. It makes my head, and my heart, hurt.
You and I are so different it's scary. And that sh!t about Opposites Attract is both obvious truth and total BS. I read something today that I want to share, it really struck a cord:
"There are two kinds of love, mija. In the safe kind, you look for someone who's exactly like you. It's what most folks settle for. But there there's the other kind of love. Everyone's born with a ragged edge, and some folks crave the piece that's a perfect fit. You'll search for it forever, if you have to. And if you're lucky enough to find it, it looks so right, you start to tear at your own seams, thinking, maybe I could look just as perfect. But then, of course, when you try to get close to their other half, you don't fit anymore." She looks up at me. "That kind of love... you come out of it a different person than you were when you started." ~Jodi Picoult: Vanishing Acts (P339)
Can you guess which one we share?