And there was loneliness

I am lonely, I know that now.  It is a weird loneliness, though.  an aching hollowness.  The absence of love.  There are people, less than before, but there are people in my life.  But that's just it, they have their own lives, their own friends and families, their own social calenders.  They don't need me, I'm just there.  I miss that, being wanted, desired, needed.

I need to be happy alone.  I have to.  I was, before he came into my life again.  Now, I'm starting all over again.  And it's hard.  Really, really hard.  But still possible, of course.