Jan 15, 2010

Now I Know...

If you've been reading my blog for a while you have hair on your teeth probably know about my friend, Leigh. As well as my most recent ex-boyfriend, Glitch. Strange names? Yeah, I know. Whatever. Well, a lot more has happened between Leigh and I to make our friendship go downhill but at least we never fought about anything with each other. I'm just the type of person to then stay away from her and not do effort from my side because I get no effort from her side. I'm sorry, but a friendship is a two-way street. You have to do it together. It can't come from one side. Like it did from mine.

But... we talked. We sorted our sh!t out. I told her, honestly, what's bothering me and she explained herself. At the end of the day it's miscommunication and I'm able to admit that at least. Thing is... too much has happened. Too many wrongs that can't be set right. Our friendship will never be the same again. And surprisingly.. sadly.. I'm fine with that. Life moves on. Things change. Circumstances change. I still love her dearly, don't get me wrong. We just won't be as close as we once were.. again.

Anyway, she came to visit. I made dinner. (I'll brag about that later!). And we sat talking... and talking... and talking. It was nice! And she even left the baby with her Fiance. For the first time. Cool. Point of the post... She told me about Glitch. As they are still friends. Or, well, her fiance and Glitch are still friends.

She told me how much he's been drinking since we've broken up. I mean, HELLO, newsflash! He was drinking like a fish while we were dating. It's no wonder he continued. He doesn't have a girlfriend to tell him to slow down anymore.

She told me how he has gone through 3 girls since we've broken up. Not to mention the one night stands. Not that she's sure there was any. Which I'm quite sure there wasn't. Just sayin'.

She told me how he's not over the trauma of the accident we came across while we were dating. I'm not sure if I posted it on my blog, but we came across rather a horrific accident where 2 people were killed. It was that same night that he cut his fingers on glass and didn't know what he had touched after he got the cuts. We had to go the emergency room for tests, for fear of Aids or other viruses. A (very) rough time followed but we pulled through with MY strength and Patience. Yes. Mine. Anyway, clearly I got through it better than he did. Leigh told me how depressed he gets when he drinks and that all he can talk about is that accident. And me. And that they think he has to go for counseling. I totally agree.

That brings me to the last one... Apparently he needs counseling... To get over ME?! Is it just me or does that just not sounds right?? HE left ME, didn't he? HE didn't want to see ME, right?!
Leigh tells me he talks about me a lot. Especially when he's drunk. When he's honest. She thinks I'm the best girlfriend that he's ever had and he's angry that he screwed it up. Yeah well... TAKE THAT ASSHOLE!!

I know I'm mean... but haven't you ever wanted a guy to realize what he lost when he lost you?? I have. And it's happened a couple of times. Believe me, it has. Now that I think back. It's just that... you hope it happens when you still think he's All That. Which I don't. I'm SO over him. I mean, he's a great guy and everything and I truly wish him all the best and a happy life... but... I just don't feel I can be a part of it. And I'm okay with that. (Finally).

I (now) have the self-confidence to know and say that yes, I was a great girlfriend to Glitch. Yes, I was a great girlfriend to a couple of guys in my past. But they were just not good enough for me. It just wasn't meant to be. But still, I will never regret any of it. It's true what they say hey... I have truly learned something out of every shitty situation in my life. And it's made me stronger. It's made me better. It's made me who I am. I know that now. =D


Andhari said...

Good for you! Knowing this is one last closure, not that you haven't moved on already. But in most cases, girls can easily get over guys after they admit they screw up and realize these girls are the best thing that ever happened to them. It'll be easier to stop being curious on these guys. It's somehow in our psyche as a woman.

He totally needs counseling, too bad he realizes all of this too late when you've slipped away.

Maryx said...

So True Andhari! Wise words you have there. I'm rather proud of myself for getting this far! Hehe!

Take Care Sweetie