Jan 7, 2010

sHE beLIEveS

"Hey Christell jy moet lekker slapies,
ons ry more oggend 2uur ellisras toe vir 2dae...
Ek mis dit dat jy saam my op staan in die oggend...
Mar ja... Swt Drms.."


Hey Christell hope you sleep tight, we're leaving at 2am for Ellisras (a town a few hours away) for 2days for work... I miss you waking up with me in the mornings... But oh well... Sweet Dreams...

Guess what... I'm not Christell. Christell is his EX. Cliche? Yes. Just one question ... 'WTF?!' Okay another question... 'WHY?!'

Why do you tell me you LOVE me if you clearly don't?! (Yes he actually told me. Finally. Magically. Now I think back and realize it's bullshit.)
Why do you treat me like a Queen?
Why do you treat me like your one and only?
Why do you do so much for me?
Why did you make me fall in love with you?
Why did you make me believe you?
Why did you make all those promises?
Why did you talk about the future? Our future?
Why did you make it sunshine and roses?
When clearly it's not?

Why was I so fcuking stupid?!

I'm slightly angry with myself. I feel hopeless. I feel embarrassed. I feel ashamed. I feel like a nit-wit. I feel like a failure. I really thought this was it. How lame is that? I'm so confused. How do you make a decision when your heart and your head are fighting like two cats over a canary?!


Indrayani said...

I would say in times like these, ask yourself one ques : " do u think you deserve this Shitty boy in your life to be happy... or are you strong enough and believe in yourself enough to KNOW that you deserve something better?"

And Guess what!!... its HIS loss...
Not yours!

I hope you feel better....
Stay in touch gurl!

Maryx said...

Thing is ... I don't NEED him in life. I know I'm good on my own. I know I rock! =D But I WANT him in life sweetie. I really do. I believe in second chances. But after that... No.

We'll see how it goes. He makes me so happy. He just screwed up that's all. It won't happen again.

Believe you me... It won't happen again.