Mar 18, 2011

I want to be there for you. And you. And you and you and you...

This made me think of the countless stories I read, daily, on sites like Six Billion Secrets, Gives Me Hope and so forth.  Do yourself a favor and go and Google these sites if you haven't already.  I see so many people on there who think so little of themselves.  I see so many children, teenagers and adults all over the world who have no self-confidence, who are waiting for someone to save them, who feel ugly, unwanted and/or unloved.  I don't always know what to make of their confessions.  Every single one touches my heart and my soul and makes me really, genuinely want to reach out to every single one of them.

So to all the people out there, posting on sites like these:
I want to be your friend.  I want to help save you.  I think you are absolutely amazing.  I think you are wonderful.  I think, genuinely, that you are beautiful beyond measure.  Not only inside, but outside as well.  I want to be there to kiss your scars and draw butterflies and unicorns on them.  I want to be there when you feel like cutting, to remind you what you mean to the world and to me.  I want to do things with you.  For you.  I want to make you cupcakes and blow up balloons for you, not just on your birthday, but any random occasion I can find.  I want to make you feel loved.  I want to remind you every single day how wonderful you are, until you believe it for yourself.  I want listen to your stories and hold you tight when you cry.  If you want to run away, I want you to run to me, or let me run with you.  I want to be there for you.  I want to tell you how wrong those people are to break you down, how blind those people are to say the things they say and see things the way they do.  Those people go through life with blinkers on.  They don't know any better.

I'm not one of those people.

I've been where you are and I'm stronger because of it.  The world does get better, I promise.  There is someone out there for you, I believe that with my whole heart.  There are always people who care, always.  There are always people who are there and willing to help.  There is always someone, somewhere who feels exactly the same way you do, who knows exactly what you're going through.  No, you are not alone.  I promise you that.  I wish you could see that and believe it, all of you.  People survive, every day.  People grow stronger, all the time.  It will be okay.  Maybe not today, or even tomorrow or perhaps a month from now, but it will be okay.  You are strong than this and you can get through it.  You are here for a reason.  You are here to mean something to the world, even if you think otherwise or if other people make you think otherwise.  That only means that those are not the right people.

Please.  Take care.  You are stronger and better than the situation you are in.


michael said...

Oh dear.
I felt this way, too.

Then I realized it's hard to believe people. Especially someone who hasn't been through what you have, someone who doesn't know you personally.

And, a lifetime of people letting you down and leaving makes it so hard to let others in. When every friendship made, every smile given doesn't result in someone who cares, how can we know anyone else is going to be different? If every chance we take only leads to hurt and makes things so much worse, why would we take the risk?

Help is out there, we all know it. But, would we be willing to get help when simply getting out of bed in the morning leaves us exhausted? Would we be willing to get help if 'getting help' means being labelled by everyone around us? Do we even consider ourselves worth it, in the first place?

If things get better and everyone has a meaning, what about the ones we've lost? Did they not have a meaning? If they're meant to serve as lessons that we should live, who's to say we aren't meant to end up like them?

And, do we even matter, when all we are is invisible? Not to bring you down, but it gets hard, sometimes...

Maryke, you give me hope. I love you for always caring, worrying, giving love to others when they need it most. You take steps toward helping people that others are too afraid to. You think about things, which is so much more than other people do. You give so much, and expect so little in return. You share your wisdom, your life, and your heart... I'd say 'thank you', but that doesn't seem like it would be enough for all that you do, for who you are. So instead, I'll let you know that I'm going to do something I haven't done for a very long time: go to bed smiling.

And it's because of you. :)

Maryx said...

Thanks for the comment and the kind words Michael. I completely understand and relate to what you're saying. It's hard sometimes. It's harder than anyone thinks possible. I just wish I could make everyone as strong as they need to be... I wish I could just make it easier. I wish I could just take it away.

I've made it through a lot myself, no matter how insignificant it may seem to some, and I've managed to come out stronger on the other side. Not everyone is so lucky. I wish that they could be...