Please tell me I'm not the only one?!
I worry. I can't help it. Can anyone help it? Why do we do it?! I have this thing in my head that it's the little things that really matter. But so do the big things... right? Wrong? I feel like I'm all out of words lately. My emotions are taking over and I don't know how to articulate them so I'm just going to ramble and rant and hope that it helps me somehow because Dear GOD I need help and I need it now. I'm falling apart. My relationship is falling apart. But I swear it's only me seeing it happen. Feeling it happen. How can it only be me?! How can this happen... AGAIN?!
*That's already feeling better*
Yes, I worry about the little things. I worry about the small necessities in life. The things we all need. Even if we think we don't. The little rainbows. The little miracles. The smiles. The feelings. The kisses in the rain. The sparkles. The feeling of being content. The feeling of being safe. The feeling... The feeling... The feeling...
That's what it's about, isn't it? What you feel. How you feel. When you feel and how much you feel. That's what it's all about. So many feelings bottled up into one tiny little space. That's what we want. We want it all. And when we don't get it... it's a train smash. When we don't get it... the feelings fade. Reality hits us squarely between the eyes. But we deny it and deny it and deny it.
Anyone notice that I'm frustrated? Anyone notice that I wanna scream and cry and run away and hide? Yeah well, I can't very well do that now can I?!
Side Note: Excuse Me...
1 comment:
maryx, may i say something?
this might hurt.
when you do that as i have for the past i dont know, whatever, you are being a loser. and missing out on the things that you shouldn't.
"the little rainbows. The little miracles. The smiles. The feelings. The kisses in the rain. The sparkles. The feeling of being content. The feeling of being safe. The feeling... The feeling... The feeling..."
that feeling does not involve thinking about it. to be content all you need to do is to not over think over it.
i apologize if i have said something i shouldn't.
try asking yourself if the things you are thinking about however tiny or large are more important than you as such. you will find your answers.
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