Apr 15, 2010

Thoughtful Question #3

ThoughtQuestions.com have a few very thoughtful questions... obviously... hence the name. I have taken it upon myself to ponder the questions they put out there. One by one.

What an ironic question for today!
Yes, I probably am. I don't want to let go but I know I probably have to. You know when two people just differ SO MUCH that they find it near to impossible to have meaningful communication because they don't understand each other at all? They don't get how the other ones brain is wired and why they react to certain things and situations the way they do. They emotionally tire each other out SO MUCH just to tell each other how much they love each other in the end. Soon forgetting what the issue was in the first place.

Yes, I need to let go of Gerhard. But I don't want to. I got myself very far today. Doing what I know I have to do. I started cleaning up my life. Just to bawl my eyes out and see the situation from different angles once again. They say you don't know what you have until you lose it. I guess so. I know what I have in him. But does he know what he has in ME? I know that probably sounds selfish. I think you have to be selfish sometimes. To protect yourself and your heart. You just have to.

So yes, I am holding on to something I need to let go of. But I'm not ready. I don't want to BE ready. I want to be okay. I want to be happy. WE want to be happy. Possible? Impossible? We'll have to see.
Another thing I'm holding on to... THE PAST. I am learning to let go though. I am doing pretty well with my bridges. I hope. Only time will tell.

What are YOU holding on to?


Hillbilly Duhn said...

You know, I've let go of the past, but find that the past repeats itself. I think that my main problem in life is communication with other people. I don't have the problem, but people like my hubs do. Listening to another person can be difficult and actually hear what they are saying rather than what your brain turns it into and I usually have this problem in which I give up, toss it aside and stop trying, finding that I'm miserable and sad because all I want is a voice and to be heard not just listened to. You can listen to anything but hear nothing at all...

Ella Unread said...

I don't know..probably I am trying to let go of bad memories and somehow I keep remembering them...I wish I could delete them...
Gerhardt(is the spelling correct?)I just want you to be happy without having to make you believe it yourself...I want you to feel it :( I want him to be a good guy for you...maybe..maybe we can wait and see?