Jul 8, 2011


You don't call, you don't text, you don't email, you don't write... nothing.  And I shouldn't even be expecting you to.  Because you know what?  Neither do I.  I can't seem to allow myself to fight for you, or to prove or show to you how much I love you.  I can't seem to allow myself any of that, because I can't allow myself to be second best.

I can't stand looking into your eyes and seeing your love for her.  I can't allow myself to be okay with that, even though she's not a part of your life anymore.  Because, you know, it shouldn't be okay, and I shouldn't have to settle.  Funny thing is, I don't want to fight with you about any of it.  I don't want to have to.  I shouldn't have to complete, as I have in the past.  I'm too tired, anyway.

If you love her, you should be with her.  Or at least try.  But then again, how can you be with someone who doesn't love you back, first and foremost?  I ask myself that question all the time...

In the meantime, I'll still be here.  Helping you, praying with you and for you, and loving you.  I'll still be here to talk and share in your happiness and frustration.  I'll still be here, taking you to church and hoping for the best.  I can't help but wish that you and I could beon the same level, just for once, before it's too late.

Unless it already is...

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