Feb 24, 2011

James Blunt - Goodbye My Lover

Gerhard emailed me this song.  And what a song it is.
The words stung a little, but not even close to how I thought it would...

I hope you are doing well Gerhard, wherever you are.  I hope you find your true love someday.  I hope you get the chance to work on bettering yourself.  I hope you find out how to make yourself and someone else happy.  Completely.  I don't hate you.  I never have.  I'm not angry with you, although I guess I should be.  I'm okay.  Without you.  I don't hurt as much anymore.  I don't fuss over things regarding you, and us, anymore.  It gets better every day, and I'm so thankful for that.

I still miss you.  I think I always will.  I still think about you, that won't change soon either I guess.  And that's okay.  I've made my peace with that.  You meant a lot to me and you were a large part of my life and my heart.  I'm sorry I sent you those emails.  I know it didn't say much, but those emails had emotion.  A lot of emotion.  And that was wrong of me.  I don't know what I was thinking...  I wasn't thinking.  I was feeling.  I was hurting and wondering.  It still happens.  Unfortunately.  So many things make me think of you.  What we had.  What we've been through.  How it all came to an end.  But I'm more alright with it now than I've ever been.  Almost relieved.

Gerhard, know that you are loved.  Always.  Know that someone out there cares for you with their whole heart and soul.  Know that you will always have a safe haven to go to, when you have nowhere else to go.  Know that I am here.  Always.

And take care of yourself...

3 comments:

Vinita Santhosh said...

Well, i want to tell you something.. i know you are being strong now.. but you have to be stronger... remember, it is possible to remove all d pain from our heart - it all depends on us, n we have to decide- decide what you really want-do you want to live a happy life? or a life with d burden just cos u loved someone.. u deserve better dear.. so just decide 4 urself that u WILL be happy. come what may. n keep praying to God, it really really helps...take care..

Maryx said...

I WILL BE HAPPY.

You're right Vinita!

Barend said...

I CAN'T HAVE YOU

If loving you is wrong
Then my heart knows not what is right
I cry myself to sleep
Every second of the night
What is there to do?
What is there to say?
I know I can't have you
But still I give my heart away

I’d walk a thousand miles
And cry a thousand tears
Just to know your love
Will be waiting for me
But what is there to feel?
When you don’t feel the same?
I know I can’t have you
But still I give my love away

You are my dream come true
I wished upon a star for you
But what am I to know?
If you really love me so
I know I can’t have you
But still I give myself away