Sep 2, 2009

Nice Guys Finish Last

I had to share this with everyone... I find it SO true. And I know we've all known one of these guys. Whether you're friends with this guy or (girls) you have one of them in your life. Found it on Le Love. Go check it out... I'm addicted.

This is fucking it, you are in love with me

Tonight I am thinking about love. More specifically, love lost. Not even lost, really. Love not realized. Or at least not realized until it was too late.

I have a male friend, Kyle. Kyle emotionally exploded on me tonight. Told me that he’s sick of finishing last, he’s too nice a guy for that. And he was so infuriated that after all these years I hadn’t given him a chance.

This is what happens when you give the guy who doesn’t drink that often a few Buds and a shot of Fernet.

He spoke to me about how he was always there for me, always providing a shoulder to cry on or a bar tab to pick up. Anything I needed, because he was being a caring and good friend. Kyle talked about how he respected everything about me, especially my imperfections. He said my imperfections were what made me perfect for him.

“I even know you’re an alcoholic,” he said. “And I don’t care, you’re still perfect.”

You want to know why nice guys finish last? It’s because they aren’t willing to take a chance, they’re too tied to their rules. They see their girl at her most vulnerable moment, and instead of doing what they perceive as a dick move, they put their arms around her and they hold her. They listen to her weep and they don’t take control of the situation. She’s too precious to cut off. Let her weep.

Let me tell you this: nothing makes a broken woman feel more beautiful than to have a man swoop in and push her up against a wall to tell her how much better she is than that. To kiss her, I mean really kiss her, regardless of what she might think about that. You know why nice guys finish last? It’s because when a guy named Bayne leaves you for no good reason and you feel like you’ve been reduced to nothing, my nice guy won’t come over and say the things I really need to hear to understand that he loves me, I mean really loves me. Us ladies, we know we’re beautiful, we know we’re intelligent, we know we’re worth it and we’ll find “him” someday. What we really need to hear and more importantly feel (at that moment — from you, the nice guy)) is that we’re sexy, that our inner organs that separate us from you guys are actually worth something. That we’re so beautiful that you can’t and don’t care whether or not that kiss you’ve so desperately wanted to plant on us is going to ruin our friendship. We want you, the nice guy, to rebel against your rules and just do what feels right. Take control of the situation and tell us that this is fucking it, you are in love with me. You are so in love with me that you are so unbelievably ready to ruin our friendship for a chance at love. That you are willing to pick up that bat and attempt to hit the ball out of the fucking stadium. Because either you strike out or you hit a home run. No one wants to sit in the dugout. But you don’t. You sit in the dugout and you tell us that we’re pretty, and not fat. That we’re worth it. And that Bayne is just stupid and doesn’t know what he’s missing. You’re too nice. You’re too good of a friend. Be a man. Make the call. Try your best to force us to love you. Because in the end, you’re right. Nice guys do finish last. So how about you buck up and become something else. Because otherwise you’re going to lose us, you’re going to lose me.

Nice guys finish last because they’re pussies.

Thanks Sally for sending this from: tales from the tenderloin


otherworldlyone said...

Shit. That was awesome. And true.

Mega8815 said...

Definitely! Unfortunately? Debatable.

Hillbilly Duhn said...

For me, I find this true and debatable. I agree, the nice guy finishes last because he's too good a friend. He fell in love with all our best and our worst qualities. How could he not, we bare our souls, our shame on their shoulders. As much as we sit back and lean on our friend, we only see him in that, "You are like the best straight/gay guy I've ever known!" and we fail to see the love shining there. The love that is most likely bold, gleaming, and bright in their eyes for all to see but us.

In the end, you are right though, they need to take that moment of insecurity and use it. Push us up against the nearest wall, and kiss us to the point in which we feel nothing more then jelly and form that stupid look on our faces.

In the end, if HE doesn't make the move, then he'll always be the friend. The straight gay guy friend we turn to when all the rest of the world has let us down.

So, I guess, I just totally agreed with what you said.

Simon said...

Yes, this certainly hits the nail on the head, for the reasons already given. I can identify with the guy Hillbilly Duhn so well sums up with the words “You are like the best straight/gay guy I've ever known!” In my case it wasn’t as humiliating, as (thanks to being seriously fucked up in the mental health department) I never actually pursued a girl in that way, knowing it was out of the question anyway. But it’s true: girls did like me as a good, reliable friend to talk to when they suffered an emotional crisis, but there were very few girls who indicated they wanted to go out with me (impossible for the reasons above, which made me feel guilty and sorry for them!).

There isn’t much to be done. If you’re kind but reserved by nature, you can’t grow a set of balls overnight and change it. That’s how you are, and you’re out of luck as far as romance goes. I don’t blame the girls for taking that attitude; it’s just one of life’s little jokes.

Mega8815 said...

@Hillbilly - It's true what you say and kind of sad in the end. Those are usual the ones who makes the best husbands and fathers in the end. They just need the right person to see them at the right time. I have a couple of these friends actually. And sometimes I DO wish they would make a move. Because I end up being too scared to make a move and spoil the friendship. But I guess they feel the same way huh?

@Simon - My Dear Simon... I kind of thought you would be one of the nice guys. But then... If I was your friend I'd probably press YOU up against a wall. Take it or leave it.

Yes, what you said about feeling sorry for the girls. It's actually true. The nice guy friend hears all the shit and knows all the details. He knows how wrong certain things are and he wants to protect her. Doesn't always work though. Urgh!