Sep 17, 2009

It's Great to be a Souf Efrikan

This is a great country because:

1. You can eat half dried meat and not be considered disgusting.

2. Nothing is your fault, you can blame it all on apartheid.

3. You get to buy a new car every 3 months and the insurance company even pays for it.

4. You can experience kak service in eleven official languages.

5. Where else can you get oranges with 45% alcohol content at rugby matches?

6. It's the only country in the world where striking workers show how angry they are by dancing.

7. You're considered clumsy if you cannot: use a cell phone (without car k
it), change CDs, drink a beer, put on make-up, read the newspaper and smoke, all at the same time while driving a car at 160 kph in a 60 kph zone.

8. Great accent. (!!!)

9. If you live in Johannesburg, you get to brag about living in the most dangerous city in the world.

10. Burglar bars become a feature, and a great selling point for your ho

11. You can decorate your garden walls with barbed wire.

12. The tow-trucks are the first on the scene for most major crimes, without being called.

The police you have to call about three times.

13. Votes have to be recounted until the right party wins.

14. Illegal immigrants leave the country because the crime rate is too high.

15. The police ask you if they must follow up on the burglary you've just reported.

16. A murderer gets a 6 month sentence and a pirate TV viewer 2 years.

17. The prisoners strike and get to vote in elections!

18. The police stations have panic buttons to call armed response whe
n they are burgled

19. Police cars are fitted with immobilisers and gearlocks!

20. Condoms for free - shopping plastic bags for sale

Ja nee!! Dis lekker hier!!


shine said...

This is awesome! I love it. And it makes my neighborhood seem like Beverly Hills.

Have you lived there your whole life?

Mega8815 said...

@Shine - Unfortunately yeah. Scary sh!t believe me. I'll move to your neighborhood anytime then!

Thanx for stopping by!

Sid said...

Bwahaha. This is sooo true. The k*k service - so familiar with that.

Andhari said...

2. Nothing is your fault, you can blame it all on apartheid.

LOL. Touche.

And that's so Jakarta too to drive and do everything else at the same time.

ps. I wantttt that orange with 45% alcohol :P

Mega8815 said...

@Sid - You telling me?! Urgh!

@Andhari - So it's not just South Africa? Mmmmm... those oranges are yummy. (Try getting an injection and injecting clean brandy or vodka into an orange...) =)