You Lost Me

I've spoken about Goofy before. If you don't remember. Look it up. In my blog of course. He's my ex ex boyfriend. Before Glitch. The recent ex. There I just lost you. =D

We've stayed friends through the past year. Well after a while of course. We had our 'mourning period' after the relationship. As is natural. And good. He lost it a bit after our break-up. I didn't. I went straight into a new relationship. Unfortunately. I broke up with him because I just felt like I didn't feel the same about him anymore. It's unfair to the other person. It would've been unfair of me to hold on to him and not be happy and not make him happy. It's wrong. And things happened in our relationship that didn't make it easy for us. Mostly things that he did. Not that I'm saying I'm innocent. I know I'm not.

So we've been 'out' for almost a year now. And he's not over me. He never was. He thinks of me as his true love. I'm his everything. I'm his world.

Or so he says.

Quick Lesson to the Retards: If you say something and you 'mean' it... Make sure your actions mirror your words.

Goofy decided on his own that it's A-OK to make moves on one of my girl friends. One of my close girl friends. Newly single I might add. Now is it just me or are the exes and the friends out of bounds?! I'm sure it's not just me. Is it? ... Anyway ... I slept over at the friend's house one night, and he came over. And ended up sleeping over. In a double bed. With both me and the friend, JM. During the night, I heard JM telling Goofy to go and sleep on the couch. As well as 'No, she's my best friend, go away.'

Wait. What?!

I left it. At first. And asked him about it the next morning. He denied everything and he lied to my face. Quick tip... DON'T do that. I have the uncanny ability to fish everything out from underneath rocks and crevices. And it's ten times worse when I find it out than when you tell me about it. Cliche? TRUTH. A while later I found out that not only did my friend chase him out of the bed because he was getting lovable with her... she also told him about the new guy in my life and what her perception is of us. Why did she have to go and do that?! I was fuming that day. I confronted them both. It ended alright between JM and I, but not as much between Goofy and I. He had some major explaining to do. And he explained alright. I just couldn't get myself to trust what he told me.

Other than that... I found out that he asked JM out on a date and 'Maryke doesn't need to know'. Nice. Now, thing is, I quite frankly don't give a sh!t what happens between the two of them. I honestly don't. I think I'm over Goofy. He meant a lot to me and he's really an awesome guy. He still is. He's any girl's dream boyfriend I guess. But he's just not for me. He's got a lot to learn and a lot to do. He has some growing up to do as well. Unfortunately. So if JM and Goofy wanna Get It On... they must go for it. As long as they are either VERY good at hiding it from me, or are willing to lose me. For good. Harsh reality I know, but that's just how the cookie crumbles.

(By they way... anyone still reading this rant... Congrats... I'm impressed)

I spoke to Goofy yesterday. Told him that no, he does not stand a chance anymore. And that he has no else to blame but himself. I told him I'm sorry and that yes, I actually DID have hope for the two of us again. He almost... almost... swept my feet right out from under me. Again. But he didn't take it all the way though. Why? Ask him. Find him and ask him. He's chickensh!t or something. I don't know.

I have a problem. I have a very strong personality. Guys don't know how to handle it. He does though. But he doesn't know how to repress it. How to stand up for himself with me. How to not have me sit squarely on his head and control everything. I'm demanding. I'm controlling. But also I'm lovable, caring and easy-going. I just need someone to draw me a line and tell me what's what. Take charge of the situation and make the decisions. I love that. If you can't do that. Sorry you're out. Now or later... You're out. Is that a bad thing? I guess I'm old fashioned or something. I don't know. A man should be in charge. But women are so independent lately, we don't need men. Right? I agree with that. I do. Okay I'm torn. But more about that later. =D

Okay I'm done. Another rant. Brought to you by the PMS Bitch of the day.

Cheers