Nov 11, 2009

Who do you Love now? - 2005/07/18

Another one... About my First Love. Written long ago of course. I'm digging up funny shit on my laptop today. So I'm posting left, right and center.

Deal with it.

Miles apart and years apart, but why?
It's been so long since I've been in your arms,
Yet that feeling stays fresh in my mind.
I remember a lot; I remember the way you smell,
I remember your powerful arms around me,
I remember your voice and the soft way you kissed me.

But I also remember the pain and the fear,
I also remember the way you yelled at me
And the horrible things you said to me.
I remember the good and the bad, yet
The good times are still more powerful
And overwhelming than the bad...
You were my first love, you know?
Nothing can erase that... ever.

And I wonder... who do you love now?
Does she love you the same way I did?
Does she nurture and cherish you like there's no tomorrow?
Does she make you laugh like I did?
Does she hold you close like I did?
Does she even know you like I did?
Or even better?

It still hurts to think of what I've lost, yet I try to make life go on.
It's hard to try and make someone else happy, when
You don't really mean it or feel it yourself.
It's hard to lie to someone you love second best
And tell him that he's the Only One, when
You want to run to someone else everyday.

I want so badly to get over you and try to go on
With my life, but you're stuck!
I need to know you don't think of me anymore,
I need to know you forgot me when I walked out the door.
It's the only way I'll move on, I guess.
Because I hate wondering about you and
Wanting you and loving you!

It hurts too much...

(July 18, 2005)
Author: Maryke Pretorius


Andhari said...

I think this is sweet. There are certainly more than one occassions where I'm thinking about my past exes or flings and wonder what they're up to and who they date now. They're used to be that one important person you first thought of, right? Then time passes and you realize you don't belong in their arms anymore.

I should stop, this is getting emo :p

Maryx said...

SO True sweetie. Unfortunately. But fortunately yes, when you realize that no, you do NOT belong in his arms, as you say. It turns into a good feeling in the end.