Sept 20 - Dear Lassie. Fcuk You.

I feel so utterly used by you. I don't understand how this came to be. I believed in you. I saw something in you that I haven't seen in someone for a long time. I saw hope, friendship, laughter... The future. I really, really like you. But I really, really like our friendship too. And that's enough for me. Why can't you just be honest with me and tell me that you don't want to be with me? Now or in the future? I'm a big girl. I'm brave and I'm strong. I don't know why you think I cannot handle it, but I can. It will hurt a little, I know that. But that's okay. It's so much better than not knowing. It's so much better than wondering and thinking of you and us and what happened between us.

That glimpse of the real you that I had... was amazing. But it's over now. It's done. I don't know what I did to make you avoid me. I don't know why you see it to be necessary. But it's okay. I accept the words behind your actions. It just doesn't mean I have to like it.

You used me. You got what you wanted and you walked away. I never thought you were that type of guy. I really thought you were better than that. Clearly I was mistaken. You are just like the other guys. Which is sad, really. I hope you find peace in the future, because you definitely haven't found it yet.