Losing a friend. Sort of.

One of my best girl friends and one of my best guy friends are hooking up. I should be happy right? Wrong. See this happened before. Same guy friend, different girl friend. Me? I was placed on hold. My whole friendship was placed on hold. On standby or something. That's not fair is it? I'm just scared it happens again, and I'm pretty sure it will.

Okay, to be fair, this guy friend and I have known each other for around 5 years now and we've... been more just friends. In the past year. We've had our fun and games and we're open and honest with each other about it. Also, we've put a stop to it, and our friendship survived it. It's awesome. But ... he's like my person. I tell him everything and I ask his advice. I value his opinion in my life, like I would a big brother. Does that seem twisted?

And now... he's gone. Already. They're not even dating yet, but he's gone. Guess that says something about our friendship huh? I'm just worried that this will damage my friendship with my girl friend as well... She knows about what happened between him and I. She knows how close we are... were... It's her choice, right?

It bothers me. A lot. It hurts. Am I being a selfish? I feel like I'm losing a very good friend, just to make another friend happy. I don't find it fair, but I'm too good a person to get between them in any way. I'd rather build a bridge and get over it. Just not today. Tomorrow maybe. I guess I saw it coming though... once he has a girl in his life, I get pushed into the background. I'm only good enough when he's single. As a friend. Or more. It was going to happen sooner or later. That doesn't mean I have to like it though.

I'm just really, really happy for the two of them. I hope something lasting comes out of me trying to get them together. It's up to them now though. They're on their own.

UPDATE: It blew over... TG