I'm sorry I just have to post this - This is SO FUNNY!!! I just about lay on the floor laughing! But sorry to my avid readers, it's in Afrikaans, and translating it to English will just spoil it completely. So here goes... straight out of the pages of Die Wit Rus:
Vergelykings
Julle sal agterkom dat ek redelik dikwels van vergelykings in my stukke gebruik maak. Party mense se vergelykings word sêgoed, soos bv; So swart soos die nag, so koel soos ´n komkommer, so bleek soos ´n laken. Ek sou ook graag wil hê dat van my vergelykings eendag sêgoed moet word. Nou het ek gedink. Ek gaan ´n klomp van my eie vergelykings hieronder uiteensit en dan moet jy, die leser, dit in die regte lewe gaan gebruik. Wie weet miskien haak daar ´n paar in jou vriende se woordeskat vas.
• So akrobaties soos ´n heuningvoëltjie op Speed.
• So aantreklik soos ´n model sonder inhibisies
• So aggressief soos ´n Buffel met ´n slagyster toegeslaan op sy bal
• So aragnafobies soos ´n blinde muskiet
• So onbeperkend soos ´n gaas kondoom
• Soveel skop soos ´n dubbeltot Toquila in ´n draughtglas Etanol
• So depresief soos iemand met ´n wen-lotto kaartjie en twee dae om te leef
• So vergeetagtig soos ´n alsheimer-pasient op ´n daggatrip
• Lang vingers soos ´n dieretuin-oerangoetang
• Groot jeupe soos ´n dragtige Vrieskoei
• ´n Groot mond soos ´n honger planktonetende Walvis
• So kosbaar soos kakpapier by ´n kunstefees
• So skaars soos ´n glimlag by die lisensiekantoor
• So vinnig soos ´n honger jagluiperd met Terpenryn onder die stert gesmeer
• Klein handjies soos ´n sirkusnar
• So kort soos ´n mier se ooghare
• So swaar soos ´n pregnant Olifant
• So skaars soos ´n slim, vriendelike spietkop
• So verveeld soos ´n kind by ´n sitrus-seminaar
• ´n Harige bors soos ´n Gorilla op kreatien
• Hang knaters soos ´n Boerbok wat warm kry
• So heilsaam soos die Lanbou-weekblad se voorblad
• So sensueel soos ´n bronstige Kameelperdmerrie
• So mooi soos ´n Elandbul met ´n grys nek
• So bevredigend soos ´n lekker lang poep in ´n stil vertrek
• So soepel soos ´n gegriesde motorfietsketting
• ´n Lang nek soos ´n nuuskierige Volstruis
• So mooi soos ´n biltongruiker
• Ruik so suur soos ´n resies-vrieskoei se hoewe
• So dikbek soos ´n asmatiese blaasoppie
Die Wit Rus
8 comments:
Christ. Well, I guess that ‘So akrobaties soos ´n heuningvoëltjie op Speed.’ is something like ‘As acrobatic as a hummingbird on Speed.’ – but that’s about as far as I’m prepared to go.
I'm so proud of you Simon!!!
I'm truly impressed. Yeah some of these just aren't the same when translated. But if you ask me nicely I can try my best.
Thanx for stopping by and making the effort!
Ohhh I feel so left out!
Like when I was younger and my grandmother would speak french with all her friends and I would just stand there and stare; not having a clue as to what they were saying.
I'm going to laugh anyway... Ahh Ha Ha! :-)
Heh. No, don’t worry.
Mainly going by guesses on the similarity to German and/or English words, such as klein (small?), lang (long?), kort (short?), slim (bad?) and so on.
I’m just trying to work out what German/English word ‘swaar’ resembles, that makes it like a pregnant Elephant.
Jenn - So Sorry Girl, but yeah I know how you feel. My grandparents as well as my mother,aunt&uncle spoke french. It was so frustrating when they'd talk about me or something regarding me. Thanx for stopping by though. 'Vergelykings' are just Comparisons. Quite funny. I'll translate a couple when I have the chance. =)
Simon - Slim = Clever & Swaar = Heavy. Awesome!
simon is the MAN!
Oh definitely Mr C! I'm shocked and proud of him! How many languages do you know?
I like you just assume I know other languages hah.
I can't speak any others completely fluent, but I can get by pretty well in spanish and italian. I can read french fairly well and like simon, although to most likely a lesser degree...find the root language of most words.
I can write arabic and greek fluent as well, and know somewhere around 300 chinese characters. I actually have a pretty strong passion for alphabets and language.
too bad I don't know afrikaans!
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