I found this on Le Love. It totally explains what I'm feeling... Unfortunately.
When I think about you not being here with me (I actually think about you all the time), it makes me sick to my stomach. I miss you so much it physically hurts.
Whenever I talk about you, I feel a knot in my throat. I can't picture myself with anyone but you. And time goes by but, how I feel doesn't change, it never goes away, even when I hate you for leaving me, for not loving me enough, it doesn't weather. How I cried myself to sleep wishing I could feel you close to me one more time. How I wish I could just stop feeling because it hurts so much. I want to move on, I want to walk away and just remember you every now and then as someone I was fond of. I'm tired and frustrated because I don't understand you, I don't know what it is that you want or feel... sometimes I think you don't even know that yourself.
I can go and conquer the world and make my wildest dreams come true but, in the end you are not here. I feel as if I lost a part of me, you took and I want it back. I play it cool, I cry when no one sees me, I dream of you. I'm in hell.