I haven't been this confused and clueless... in ages. I don't know what to do. I don't know where to begin. I don't know where it will end... I have a friend that needs help. A lot of help. She needs support and she needs friends. I have been that friend for quite some time now, but lately, I don't think I can be that friend anymore. Not after everything that's happened. I have heard things, I have shared things, I have seen things and I have done things that I can hardly contemplate. I feel like I'm in the twilight zone, that none of this is real, simply because it's just about the last thing I expected to happen, ever.
Two dear friends' of mine, who have been seeing each other for going on 4 years, have been going through some hard times lately. Ending it all by breaking off the engagement and any future hopes for a rekindling of their relationship or love. It's been rough on them both, I know because I was there, with them both. But at one point during their 'drama', I got pushed away by her and pulled closer by him. I don't quite know how that happened, or why, but because of that, apparenlty, she turned on me for no apparent reason. She called me, and my friends, horrible names. She twisted the truth and she downright lied about her actions and her words, as well as those of the people around her. Lies always catch up to you. Lies always come out. And they did. Oh, how they did...
I discovered things I guess I shouldn't have. I put the pieces of the puzzles together, and they didn't match. I got upset and angry. I still am. But I haven't acted on it, yet. That's why I am keeping myself as far away from any possible drama as I can. I'm afraid that I will burst. I'm afraid that I will say things, harsh things, honest things, that are perhaps better left unsaid. I don't want to hurt more people, unknowingly or knowingly. I'm tired. I'm hurt, too. I'm exhausted and it's breaking me down.
I wish I could fix it, for them. I wish I could fix their relationship and their trust. I wish I could fix our friendships. I wish I could fix our faith in each other. But what do I do? Where do I begin?
They lied. They cheated. They went behind each other's backs. They screamed and cursed. They called each other, and other (innocent) people, names and falsely accused each other. They hurt themselves and the people around them. Nobody is innocent. Me either. In my honest opinion, I think they should just get out of each other's lives and out of each other's hair. It's just ridiculous how far things went south. But hey, that's just me.
Get out. Get away. You deserve better. You will get better. It's not the end of the world. Try and keep the last bit of left-over dignity you have and face the world head on. Life goes on. And so does love. It's hard, but it will be worth it.