Nov 30, 2010

Things I didn't know about Me

Apparently I am a very difficult person to live/work with.  Apparently I am unapproachable.  Apparently I am a cold, heartless ice-queen.  Apparently I have a dark, twisted, dry and sarcastic sense of humor.  Apparently I am cold and too professional.  Apparently I am scary.

Wait.  What?!

I hear that from the people I work with.  How do you respond to that?  I thought about it long and hard.  I tried understanding.  I tried picturing myself being all these things, but it doesn't add up.  It's definitely someone else they're talking about... but no, they said it to my face.  And so you learn something new every day...

I've asked a couple of my friends to give me their opinions about it.  Everyone disagrees.  Some agree with the sense of humor, a bit.  But, they get it.  They don't mind it.  That's just how they know me.  That's what makes me... ME.  Part of it, anyway.
Shrek was right after all...  People are like onions, we have so many different layers.  There are things we don't know about ourselves, that other people might be able to tell us.  Then there are also things that people think about us, that aren't necessarily true, but that we seem to project to them without knowing it.  There are things that we don't tell just anybody, if we even tell anybody about them.  There are things that are so deeply private, so hidden between the sheets of our souls, that we don't even realize it ourselves.  But then sometimes... they come out to bite us in the ass.

Every time I think I know myself relatively well, I learn something new.  I guess it's a good thing.  I'm clearly not boring.  But then... I'm also, clearly, quite complicated.  And in the end, that complicates my life.  In more ways than I can explain...

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