Remember how I said that the ex and I share mutual friends now? MY friends who turned out after 8months to be OUR friends? Remember how I said we're gonna have to see each other again because of these mutual friends? I didn't? You're memory sucks. =)
Just the other day... I realized the ex still has some things of mine at his place. Understandable of course. I practically lived there. So I phoned him yesterday to check if I could come pick it up after work. It was fine with him but he only gets home around 7pm, whereas I get home at around 6pm. So as I am the designated driver to work and back for one of our mutual friends, my BFF (her fiance is now his BFF), I decided to stay for coffee at BFF's house until he gets home so I only do one trip back. I know myself, I get lazy and relaxed sitting at home. Then I won't want to go to his place later.
Got to BFF's house and her fiance tells me the ex is coming over to their place. So I phoned to tell him I'll meet him over there. He can just stop at his place and bring my things with him. Well he got there and we ended up staying for another hour and a half. Chatting. Laughing. Getting along brilliantly. We left at the same time. He was parked next me. We hugged each other goodbye, got into our seperate cars and left our seperate ways. I went the whole way home, and even in bed, without crying. I came close. But I didn't. I'm so proud of myself. It felt natural that we got along so well. (Although he DID look as if he'd seen a ghost a couple of times.)
It hurt seeing him. I found myself staring at him when no one was looking. I found myself looking at his face. His eyes. His mouth. His smile. His hands. His body. All the things that used to be 'mine'. If I can say it like that. It hurt like hell but I got through it. I sat back at one stage thinking to myself... we're getting along fine. Why did we fight so much and why did we fcuk each other up? Everything happens for a reason right? I tend to believe that. I believe everything has a purpose. Our purpose was to learn something from each other. To leave footprints. To be friends?
You Boyfriend Breaking Up with You & Telling You that You can Still Be Friends is
Like Your Dog Dying and Your Mother Telling You that You Can Keep It...
11 comments:
For me it always takes a good year or two before I can be in the same room as an ex and feel ok.
Sometimes all it takes is just metting someone else to make it all better - then when you see your ex you wont really care ;)
This may not sound so comforting now, but you’ll be okay in time. Just remind yourself that you did split up, and it was because you didn’t get on ideally. If you’d remained then instead of this post, you’d have been writing a bitter one instead of a mournful one… it’s better that it be the latter, overall.
i also don't know what i'm going to do...we want to stay friends, but in the back of our minds we know it wont work! like brazen says..only years later. and that's good feeling to be able to do that...fighting and having grudges just not the way to go!
:)
Brazen - Probably true what you say. But we'll just have to make it work seeing as we share friends and won't really have a choice. Though I really do hope I meet someone soon. Not too soon though.
Simon - Thanx. I know I'll be fine. I'm a strong girl. I'm surprising myself each day. And it's amazing how free and relaxed I feel without all the pressure he put on me and all the issues we had. I do apologize for future posts like this though. This blog is my only outlet.
Desi - Sometimes it's just not meant to be. And some ppl just cannot stay friends. Remember... it's easier to turn friendship into love than it is to turn love into friendship. I don't know how your relationship was and how you're going to see each other after the break up but if I was you I'd try and avoid contact for at least a while. Give each other space. Don't hold onto anything. Good luck to both of us huh! =)
My friend broke up with boyfriend last week and when she came back for her stuff, they ended up having steamy sex and getting back together. Some people are lucky. :-(
Being friends with exes is tricky. Make sure you guys want no more of each other now and already neutral about the whole thing. Because forcing yourself to be friends when you guys arent ready will ending up hurting one of you more.
I'm glad you're being a grown up about it when yo usaw him though ;)
@Demigoddes - I'm not too far off on that one, exluding the getting back together happily ever after thing. You'll find out in my next post.
@Andhari - Tell me about it?! I think exes can be great friends, from my own experiences, they just have to put their sh!t behind them and give each other time to heal. Thing is... we're not exactly doing that. The healing part. Urgh! It's so frustrating!
See my next post for details and thanx for stopping by!
Ok, after all your awesome comments I'm finally dragging my lazy ass over here.
And let me say, I feel you on the ex shit. Seeing The Suit looking all sexy made me want to cry. Or at least throw up on him.
You'll be ok. ;)
@Otherwordlyone - Thanx for stopping by! Hope I'll be okay thanx, things are getting a bit complicated now though... so we'll see. I'm posting about it soon.
Hmmm, I tend to be the type of person who manages to make people "fade". I am more than willing to change routines and friends in order to never ever see the other person. I wonder how long I'll be able to keep this "fading" routine up.
@Sid - I used to do the fade method. Didn't work on this one though. Shit! Thanx for stopping by...
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