Not Again

Okay so I wrote this poem just when the ex and I started dating. It's regarding the bf before him. Obviously. Let's call him D*. We didn't have much of a relationship. We dated for one year and 2 months. Unbelievable waste of my time. His as well I guess. I believe that you learn something out of every relationship, no matter how sh!tty it was. D* taught me to be more honest. He taught me to give more attention. He taught me that I deserve more. He taught me that intimacy is important in a relationship. So yeah... Enjoy!

NOT AGAIN!!!!!

I’m sitting here, thinking about the past,
sort of wishing that our time could’ve lasted.
The memories I share with you are fading so quickly…
I can’t remember our first kiss,
I can’t remember your touch,
I can’t even remember the way you smiled at me.
Sure, I have a photo, and I look at it from time to time,
But is that enough?

You made my life… wrong.
You screwed up a lot just by not being there for me
And I resent you for that.
I really did love you, you know?
Yet I sit here wondering if it all really was true.
Maybe our relationship was a lie; did we really love each other?
Was it really my fault that we lived apart from each other? Separate lives?
I don’t know what we did wrong, I’m sure it’s the both of us.

But sometimes I miss you…
I think of seeing you again and I get butterflies in my tummy at the
Thought of being able to hug you again, to hold you in my arms like I used to.
I’d like to have that back again, you know?
But then I think of all the heartache you caused me,
The lonely nights we spent together,
The fights we had. You never DID understand me after all, did you?

I’m scared of what lies ahead for M* and I, you made me scared.
I’m scared it’ll turn out the way we did… Broken.
He’s not like you at all, he’s different.
He’s fun, he’s adventurous, he’s spontaneous, and he adores me!
Unlike you… ever.

So thank you for teaching me another hard lesson in my life.
I’ll probably always have a little place for you in my heart,
I don’t think I can change that real easy.
But I also hope I never walk that road with you again… for my sake.
And my heart’s…

Author: Me (13/06/2007)