Thought Question #374

I believe that happiness is absolutely a choice.  I know that we encounter hardships, heartbreaks, sadness and abuse in many ways throughout our lives, but I still believe that being sad, being angry and being a terrible person is a choice you make for yourself.  It took me a while, it took some maturing and some hardships, but I finally realized it.  Being a grumpy old bad is just not worth it.  Being vindictive and angry is useless.  But showing your kindness, your love and your positive esteem to the world, that is what makes you different.  That is what makes you special.  Yes, sometimes you have to work harder at it than others, and sometimes you think you're pretending.  At the end of the day, the more you bullsh!t yourself into being happy and being positive, the more you start believing that it's true.  That's what happened to me.

I used to blame so many other people for my moods and my feelings, but at the end of the day it all depended on me, and me alone.  If I allow the bad feelings to come into my life and into my heart, it's my own fault.  But if I only allow the happy things, the good things, that is what makes me... Me.  Realizing all of this, as confusing as it may seem to you seeing as I'm really bad with putting it into words, has made me a better and more motivated individual.  I've been more able and willing to work towards my goals and the things that make me happy.  I don't allow people and situations to get me down and I pull through, to a better place.

Like, I've been bitching and moaning about studying for so long and not being able to do it the way I want to, and finally I'm doing it.  My way.  I've been bitching about money and I've been bitching about getting a new car.  In the past 7 months, especially, I've been able to save up and I've bought myself a new car.  Okay, I'm paying it off over 72 months, but still.  I did it.  Me.  I've finally created my arts & crafts room and I've gotten uncapped internet at home.  I'm doing what I love and I love what I do.  I've even succeeded in getting away from all the negative people and negative things in my life.  There was so many!  Here and there... yes there are still glitches.  It's not perfect, far from it.  But I can change that and I'm doing it one day at a time.

I wish I could make other people agree with me about this simple, very very simple, fact.  But not everyone does.  Do you??