Changing

I tend to write a lot about change.  How I have changed, how people have changed, how my life has changed, and even how the world has changed.  I guess I like the subject, huh?  Change isn't always all that great, though.  I don't like change all that much in general, I like being in my comfort zone, but I tend to get used to the change faster than I thought I would.  Which is a good thing, I'm sure.

How do you think you have changed this year?  Was it big, was it small?  Was it because of someone or some situation in your life, or was it because you decided to all on your own?  Did you get something positive out of that change, and how did it affect your life?

Change is scary.  Change is uncertain.  But then again... Change is breathtaking and wonderful, new and interesting.  I'm pretty sure there's always something good to say about a change in someone's life, even if we won't know the purpose of that change for ages to come, I'm sure it's all well worth it.

Gerhard and I have changed.  Again.  Evolved, I guess.  We're not in a relationship, but he's still in my life.  I think it's because of the change that happened inside me.  I just don't care as much anymore.  I know it sounds harsh, but it's true.  He screwed up, again.  He lost me.  I turned around and walked away, I told him it's over between us.  He wanted to run away and hide and never contact me again, but I knew ahead of time what would come of that.  The same circle would replay itself, the same thing will happen that always does.  We can't just stay away from each other, we can't just suddenly break contact and expect to be okay with being apart.  We always relapse and the shit starts all over again.  So I told him that I like having him in my life.  I enjoy our conversations and the way we know each other so well.  I like that we work and play well together and we understand each other.  I like that we make each other laugh.  So I asked him to stay, if he wants to, with no strings attached.  We're not mutually exclusive, and I love that.  I'm not looking for anyone else, neither is he as far as I know.  We're just... there.  And it works.  Better than ever before, according to me that is.  I'm sure he feels the same way.

We're going away on a camping trip in a week's time, and we're really really excited about it!  I think it's gonna be great!  There's so much to see and do in the area we're going.  I'll take lotsa pictures and share it later!

People change, good and bad, they change.  I've lost friends... and gained some others.  It's sad, but it happens.  I'm handling it better than I used to.  There is still a million things I don't understund, but I don't feel like I have to anymore.  Things happen.  People change.  Friends grow apart.  It doesn't have to be ugly, it just needs to happen sometimes.  I try and calm myself when I see people changing... because maybe it's me changing.  We never know right...